Learn how gaming and online use can shift from coping tools to compulsive patterns, why this happens, and how evidence-based therapy supports lasting change.
When Gaming or Screen Use Takes Over
Gaming, scrolling, streaming, and online engagement are now woven into everyday life. For many people, these activities are enjoyable, social, and even restorative. But for some, online or media use begins to feel less like a choice and more like a compulsion—something that’s hard to step away from, even when it starts to interfere with sleep, relationships, work, or emotional well-being.
Understanding why this happens is essential for meaningful change.
How Gaming and Online Use Become Hard to Stop
Excessive gaming or media use rarely starts as a problem. More often, it develops as an effective regulation strategy—a reliable way to manage internal states that feel overwhelming or unmet. An internal reward deficit can fuel screen time use.
Online environments can offer:
• Predictable rewards and a sense of mastery
• Relief from boredom, loneliness, or emotional distress
• Escape from pressure, self-doubt, or real-world demands
• Connection without the vulnerability required in face-to-face relationships
Over time, the brain learns that these platforms work quickly and consistently. What began as recreation can quietly shift into a primary way of coping.
When Does Screen Use Become Problematic?
Not all heavy use is compulsive. The distinction lies in function and flexibility, not screen time alone.
A healthy or high-engagement pattern:
• Can be adjusted when needed
• Does not consistently interfere with responsibilities or values
• Feels chosen rather than driven
A problematic or compulsive pattern:
• Feels urgent or difficult to resist
• Continues despite negative consequences
• Is followed by shame, irritability, or emotional crash
• Becomes the main way to regulate stress, mood, or identity
When online use becomes the only place where relief, competence, or connection is felt, the pattern tends to tighten.
Why Willpower and Limits Alone Often Fail
Attempts to reduce gaming or screen use often focus on external controls—time limits, blockers, or strict rules. While these can be helpful short-term, they frequently fail when the underlying need remains unmet.
Without alternative ways to:
• Regulate emotion
• Experience mastery or belonging
• Soothe stress or internal pressure
the nervous system will keep pulling toward what works fastest.
How an Evidence-Based Integrative Approach Helps
Therapy is most effective when it addresses both the behavioural cycle and the emotional function of online use.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) focuses on:
• Identifying triggers, thought patterns, and reinforcement loops
• Reducing automatic engagement
• Building structure, balance, and replacement behaviours
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps by:
• Teaching skills to tolerate urges without acting on them
• Reducing the struggle with internal discomfort
• Reconnecting behaviour change to personal values rather than restriction
Internal Family Systems (IFS) goes deeper by:
• Exploring the part of the self that relies on gaming or media
• Understanding what that part protects against (e.g., failure, rejection, emptiness)
• Creating internal safety so the behaviour becomes less necessary
Why Understanding the Original Coherence Matters
Gaming or online use is rarely the problem—it is the solution that once worked.
When therapy helps uncover the original coherence of the behaviour—why it emerged and what it has been trying to manage—people often experience a profound shift. Instead of constantly fighting urges, the internal pressure eases because the underlying need can finally be addressed.
This is often the difference between repeated cycles of control and genuine, sustainable change.
Moving Toward Balance, Not Deprivation
Reducing compulsive gaming or media use isn’t about eliminating enjoyment or technology. It’s about restoring choice, flexibility, and a broader range of ways to meet emotional needs.
With the right support, it’s possible to develop a healthier relationship with screens—one that serves your life rather than shrinking it. We invite you to reach out to us today.
References:
Kuss DJ, Griffiths MD. Internet and gaming addiction: a systematic literature review of neuroimaging studies. Brain Sci. 2012 Sep 5;2(3):347-74.
