Practical Ways to Help Your Therapist Help You
Starting therapy is a meaningful step toward improving your mental health and emotional well-being. Whether you’re just considering counselling or you’ve already booked your first therapy appointment, it’s completely normal to feel a mix of hope, uncertainty, and questions—especially about whether therapy will truly help.
The reality is that therapy looks different for everyone. Your experience will be shaped by your goals, readiness, and the relationship you build with your therapist. The good news is that there are clear, evidence-informed ways to maximize the benefits of therapy and create meaningful, lasting change.
Below, we outline psychologist-recommended tips to help you get the most out of therapy, ensuring your investment of time, energy, and money leads to real progress.
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Why Getting the Most Out of Therapy Matters
When you actively engage in therapy, you are more likely to:
If you’re unsure about your goals, don’t worry—helping you clarify goals is a core part of psychotherapy. You and your therapist will work collaboratively to identify what matters most.
1. Have a Clear Focus for Therapy
Before your first counselling session, reflect on one or two areas you’d like to work on. This might include:
You don’t need complete clarity—your therapist will help refine this focus. Even a starting point can significantly improve the effectiveness of therapy.
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2. Arrive 10 Minutes Early When Possible
Giving yourself a few extra minutes before your therapy appointment allows you to:
• Calm your nervous system
• Gather your thoughts
• Transition mentally into the session
This might look like sitting quietly, taking slow deep breaths, or jotting down what feels most important to discuss. A regulated, focused mind supports more productive therapy sessions.
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3. Write Things Down Between Sessions
Insight doesn’t only happen in the therapy room. Between sessions, you may notice:
• Emotional shifts
• Repeated thoughts
• Behaviour patterns
• Relationship dynamics
Writing these down creates a powerful bridge between sessions. Bringing notes into therapy can highlight themes and help you and your therapist work more efficiently and deeply.
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4. Be Honest With Your Therapist
Therapy is a confidential, non-judgmental space. You don’t need to filter, perform, or hold back.
If something feels difficult to say—say that. Letting your therapist know when honesty feels hard allows them to support you more effectively. Openness directly enhances therapeutic outcomes.
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5. Share Feedback—Even When You’re Not Asked
If something in therapy isn’t working for you, it’s important to speak up. You might want:
• More or less structure
• More feedback or guidance
• More practical tools or reflection
Your preferences matter. Therapy is a collaborative process, and feedback allows it to be tailored to your unique needs.
At Dr. Jennifer Barbera’s practice, feedback is always welcome—you won’t offend us. We automatically ask for feedback within a few sessions because your input helps us support you better and can even improve care for others.
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6. Remember: A Therapist Can’t “Fix” You
During times of distress, it’s natural to hope someone else can take the pain away. However, effective therapy is collaborative, not passive.
Your therapist brings expertise and guidance—but you bring:
• Autonomy
• Self-knowledge
• The power to make change
Since most of life happens outside the therapy room, practicing insights and skills between sessions is essential for lasting progress.
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7. Don’t Ask for Advice—Ask for Help Finding Your Path
A good therapist won’t tell you how to live your life. You are the expert on your own values and experiences.
Instead, therapy helps you:
• Explore options
• Clarify what feels right
• Make decisions aligned with who you are
This approach builds confidence, empowerment, and sustainable change. If you prefer more direct input, that’s okay—just talk about it. The most meaningful answers come from within, and therapy helps uncover them.
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Final Thoughts: Therapy Works Best When You’re Engaged
Getting the most out of therapy doesn’t mean doing everything “perfectly.” It means showing up with curiosity, honesty, and willingness to participate in your own growth.
When therapy is approached as a collaborative journey, it becomes one of the most powerful tools for emotional healing, insight, and long-term well-being.
Contact us to discuss how we can assist you with therapy.
