Self-compassion: Resources

Self-compassion is the practice of responding to your own pain, mistakes, and struggles with kindness rather than criticism.

Instead of judging yourself for being imperfect or having difficult emotions, self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same care, understanding, and patience you would offer a close friend or someone you care about.

At its core, self-compassion has three key elements:

1) self-kindness (being warm and supportive toward yourself),

2) common humanity (recognizing that suffering and imperfection are part of being human),

3) mindful awareness (noticing your experiences without exaggerating or suppressing them).

Together, these elements help create a healthier relationship with yourself, especially during times of stress or failure.

Self-compassion is very important because harsh self-criticism activates the nervous system’s threat response, increasing stress, shame, and emotional reactivity.

In contrast, self-compassion supports emotional regulation, resilience, and motivation.

Research shows self-compassion  is linked to lower anxiety and depression, greater well-being, and a stronger ability to cope with challenges. Importantly, self-compassion does not mean letting yourself off the hook—it means supporting yourself in ways that actually promote growth and healing.

Practising self-compassion can start with small, intentional steps. You might notice your inner dialogue and gently replace self-critical thoughts with more supportive language. You can pause during moments of difficulty to acknowledge, “This is hard,” and remind yourself that you are not alone in struggling.

Simple practices such as placing a hand on your chest, slowing your breathing, or writing yourself a compassionate note can also help signal safety and care to your nervous system.

Over time, self-compassion becomes less about doing something “right” and more about relating to yourself differently—meeting your experiences with curiosity, warmth, and respect rather than judgment.