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Understanding Low Self-Confidence, Self-Doubt, and Fear of Making Mistakes: How It Develops, What Maintains It, and How Therapy Can Help

Low self-confidence, persistent self-doubt, and fear of making mistakes can feel limiting and exhausting. These experiences can affect relationships, work, and personal growth, making even everyday decisions feel overwhelming. While occasional doubt is normal, when self-criticism dominates or fear of failure prevents action, it can significantly impact wellbeing.

Understanding how these patterns develop, why they persist, and how therapy can help is a key step toward cultivating self-trust, resilience, and confidence.

What Are Low Self-Confidence, Self-Doubt, and Fear of Mistakes?

These experiences often include:

• Feeling uncertain about abilities, decisions, or judgement
• Avoiding challenges due to fear of failure
• Persistent self-criticism or comparing yourself unfavourably to others
• Overthinking or “paralysis by analysis”
• Anxiety about how mistakes might be perceived by others
• Physical tension or stress when faced with performance demands

These patterns are maintained by habitual thoughts, emotional reactions, and behaviours rather than by an actual lack of competence.

How Low Self-Confidence and Self-Doubt Develop

These patterns often develop from a combination of temperament, early experiences, and learned beliefs about the self. Contributing factors may include:

• Childhood experiences of criticism, high expectations, or conditional acceptance
• Experiences of failure or rejection without adequate support
• Modelling of self-critical or perfectionistic behaviours from caregivers
• High sensitivity to feedback or social evaluation

Over time, these experiences can lead to internalized messages such as “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll fail,” or “I can’t trust my judgement,” which shape self-perception and behaviour.

How These Patterns Are Maintained

Low self-confidence and self-doubt are maintained by avoidance, over-preparation, and ongoing self-criticism. Common maintaining factors include:

• Avoiding situations that feel risky or challenging
• Seeking reassurance from others instead of trusting yourself
• Overthinking decisions or repeatedly second-guessing choices
• Catastrophising mistakes and overestimating consequences
• Comparing yourself to others and undervaluing accomplishments

These patterns prevent experiential learning that builds competence and self-trust, keeping self-doubt alive.

Therapeutic Approaches for Low Self-Confidence and Fear of Mistakes

Therapy helps individuals shift these patterns by fostering self-compassion, realistic thinking, and gradual exposure to challenging situations.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps clients identify and challenge unhelpful beliefs about their abilities, perfectionism, and fear of mistakes. Therapy may include reframing self-critical thoughts, experimenting with new behaviours, and testing feared outcomes to see that mistakes are not catastrophic. CBT helps rebuild realistic self-assessment and confidence.

Schema Therapy

Low self-confidence and fear of failure may relate to schemas such as defectiveness/shame, unrelenting standards, or dependence/incompetence. Schema therapy explores these early patterns, helping clients recognise how past experiences shaped their self-perception, and supports emotional updating so that internalised messages lose their power.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT supports clients in noticing self-doubt and fear of mistakes without becoming controlled by them, while taking action guided by values. By focusing on meaningful values and goals rather than perfection, individuals learn to act despite discomfort, gradually building self-trust and competence, as well as acceptance.

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

IFS understands low self-confidence as arising from protective parts of the system that aim to prevent failure or criticism. These may include a critical part monitoring performance, a fearful part anticipating mistakes, or an avoidant part discouraging action. IFS therapy helps clients relate to these parts with curiosity and compassion, allowing protective parts to relax while building internal confidence.

Building Self-Confidence and Reducing Fear of Mistakes

Low self-confidence and self-doubt can feel limiting, but they are highly treatable. With structured, evidence-based therapy, people can learn to trust their judgement, approach challenges with courage, and tolerate mistakes without harsh self-criticism. Gradual practice and self-compassion help nervous systems feel safe while building resilience and self-assurance.

If low self-confidence, self-doubt, or fear of making mistakes is affecting your life, therapy can help you take action with confidence, embrace challenges, and cultivate trust in yourself. Connect with us today for support.

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