Understanding Anger: Why We Feel It and How to Manage It Effectively
Anger is a universal human emotion that everyone experiences at some point in life (Williams, 2017). It can range from mild irritation and frustration to intense anger or rage. While often viewed negatively, anger itself is not inherently harmful. In fact, research suggests that anger can serve an important psychological function by signalling perceived threat, injustice, or unmet needs (Harmon-Jones et al., 2013).
Problems arise not from feeling anger, but from how anger is expressed or managed. When left unchecked, chronic or intense anger can negatively affect physical health, emotional well-being, and relationships. When understood and regulated effectively, however, anger can become a source of insight, motivation, and healthy boundary-setting.
In this post, we’ll explore evidence-based strategies for reducing and managing anger, helping you respond more thoughtfully and build a calmer, more fulfilling life.
What Is Anger?
Anger is a natural emotional response to perceived threat, frustration, or distress (Williams, 2017). It often arises when something feels unfair, out of our control, or emotionally threatening. From a physiological perspective, anger activates the body’s stress response, leading to changes such as increased heart rate, muscle tension, and a surge of adrenaline (Wu et al., 2019).
These reactions prepare the body for action, which can be adaptive in certain situations. However, when anger becomes frequent, overwhelming, or expressed aggressively, it can become maladaptive or destructive, affecting both personal well-being and relationships. Understanding how anger works is the first step toward learning how to manage it more effectively.
The Consequences of Uncontrolled Anger
Unchecked anger can wreak havoc on our lives. Here are some of the negative consequences of uncontrolled anger:
Health Issues: Chronic anger has been linked to numerous health problems, including high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system (Taggart et al., 2011; Zohuri & Dalili, 2023). The physical toll of anger can be severe.
Relationship Strain: Frequent outbursts of anger can strain relationships with family, friends, and colleagues (Zohuri & Dalili, 2023). It can create an atmosphere of tension and fear, making it difficult to maintain healthy connections.
Poor Decision-Making: Anger often clouds judgment and impairs decision-making (Gambetti & Giusberti, 2009; Meissen et al., 2021). People are more likely to make impulsive and regrettable choices when they are angry.
Legal and Professional Consequences: Uncontrolled anger can lead to legal problems and jeopardize your professional life (Zohuri & Dalili, 2023). Impulsive actions, such as verbal or physical aggression, can result in legal trouble or job loss.
Mental Health Issues: Prolonged anger can contribute to the development or exacerbation of mental health issues like depression and anxiety (Zohuri & Dalili, 2023; Besharat & Pourbohlool, 2012). It can also lead to increased stress levels.
Strategies for Reducing Anger
Recognize Your Triggers: The first step in reducing anger is to identify what triggers your anger. Keep a journal to record situations, people, or events that consistently make you angry. Understanding your triggers allows you to anticipate and prepare for anger-inducing situations.
Notice resistance: People naturally try to resist the things they don’t want or like, however, resistance creates an amplification of negative emotion and leads to increased frustration and heightened anger.
Practice acceptance: It’s important to notice when you are resisting something that already is, and instead apply acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like it or that you won’t do anything about it, acceptance simply means you will not put your energy into resisting what already is because that will only use up your energy and leave you even more upset or frustrated.
Be sure to see our self-help page for more guidance on using acceptance in place of resistance.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present in the moment and prevent your anger from spiralling out of control (Zohuri & Dalili, 2023). Regular mindfulness practice can also increase your overall emotional resilience.
Seek Perspective: Before reacting in anger, try to see the situation from a different perspective (Szasz et al., 2011). Ask yourself if there might be a misunderstanding or if the other person’s actions were unintentional. This can help you respond more rationally. Ask yourself how you might view the situation if you were someone else.
Thought-monitoring: Be aware of unhelpful thinking patterns that tend to heighten anger such as overgeneralizations. For instance, telling yourself “he never helps me” will make you feel more angry than a more balanced thought such as “he doesn’t help as often as I would like”. Try to catch yourself using words such as “always” and “never” and replace with more balanced thinking.
Communication Skills: Improve your communication skills, particularly in expressing your feelings and needs assertively without resorting to aggression. Learning to communicate effectively can prevent conflicts from escalating (Lee & DiGiuseppe, 2018).
Time-Outs: When you feel anger rising, it’s okay to take a time-out. Remove yourself from the situation temporarily to cool down and collect your thoughts. This prevents impulsive actions or hurtful words.
Physical Exercise: Regular physical activity is an excellent way to release pent-up anger and reduce stress (Zohuri & Dalili, 2023). Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.
Stress Management: Since stress often fuels anger, it’s essential to manage stress in your life. This can include techniques like time management, setting boundaries, and finding relaxation methods that work for you.
Problem-Solving: Instead of dwelling on the anger, focus on finding constructive solutions to the issues that trigger it. Problem-solving can provide a sense of control and reduce feelings of helplessness (Arslan, 2010).
Forgiveness: Holding onto grudges can fuel anger. Practice forgiveness, not necessarily for the benefit of the other person, but for your own peace of mind (Harris et al., 2006). Forgiveness can release the emotional burden of anger.
Dive deeper: understand that often anger is a surface emotion . Underneath anger there is often feelings of sadness, hurt, betrayal, fear or helplessness. It can be important to explore and resolve underlying feelings. Have a look at our anger iceberg handout.
Professional Help: If anger management becomes overwhelming or if anger is significantly impacting your life, consider seeking professional help. Therapy, counselling, or anger management classes can provide valuable tools and strategies for managing anger more effectively.
Remember:
Reducing anger is a journey that requires self-awareness, patience, and practice. Remember that it’s normal to experience anger, but it’s how you handle it that makes all the difference.
By recognizing your triggers, practicing mindfulness, improving your communication skills, and seeking professional help if needed, you can take control of your anger and lead a more peaceful and fulfilling life. Anger doesn’t have to define you; instead, let it be a catalyst for personal growth and positive change.
By Graduate intern Raechel Hamill
Edited by Dr. Jennifer Barbera, clinical psychologist.
References:
Arslan, C. (2010). An Investigation of Anger and Anger Expression in Terms of Coping with Stress and Interpersonal Problem-Solving. Educational Sciences: Theory and Practice, 10(1), 25-43.
Besharat, M. A., & Pourbohlool, S. (2012). Mediation effect of anger rumination on the relationship between dimensions of anger and anger control with mental health. International Journal of Psychological Research, 5(2), 8-17.
Gambetti, E., & Giusberti, F. (2009). Dispositional anger and risk decision-making. Mind & Society, 8, 7-20.
Harris, A. H., Luskin, F., Norman, S. B., Standard, S., Bruning, J., Evans, S., & Thoresen, C. E. (2006). Effects of a group forgiveness intervention on forgiveness, perceived stress, and trait‐anger. Journal of clinical psychology, 62(6), 715-733
Harmon-Jones, E., Peterson, C., Gable, P. A., & Harmon-Jones, C. (2013). Anger. In Handbook of approach and avoidance motivation (pp. 399-413). Psychology Press.
Lee, A. H., & DiGiuseppe, R. (2018). Anger and aggression treatments: a review of meta-analyses. Current opinion in psychology, 19, 65-74.
Meissner, P., Poensgen, C., & Wulf, T. (2021). How hot cognition can lead us astray: The effect of anger on strategic decision making. European Management Journal, 39(4), 434-444.
Szasz, P. L., Szentagotai, A., & Hofmann, S. G. (2011). The effect of emotion regulation strategies on anger. Behaviour research and therapy, 49(2), 114-119.
Taggart, P., Boyett, M. R., Logantha, S. J. R., & Lambiase, P. D. (2011). Anger, emotion, and arrhythmias: from brain to heart. Frontiers in physiology, 2, 67.
Williams, R. (2017). Anger as a basic emotion and its role in personality building and pathological growth: The neuroscientific, developmental and clinical perspectives. Frontiers in psychology, 8, 1950.
Wu, Y., Gu, R., Yang, Q., & Luo, Y. J. (2019). How do amusement, anger and fear influence heart rate and heart rate variability?. Frontiers in neuroscience, 13, 1131.
Zohuri, B., & Dalili, S. (2023). Understanding anger and effective anger management techniques (a short review). Management Studies, 11(4), 236-244.
